Vow Writing Tips from Wedding Experts

Writing your own wedding vows can be one of the most genuine acts of love on your wedding day. Your own thoughts can mean the most to your loved one, and hearing what you feel in words can be moving and memorable. These intimate moments are what make a wedding day so special. Sharing personal vows may be something you’re considering, and getting started on writing them can be the hardest part. This is something you do once-in-a-lifetime, so a few vow writing tips can be quite helpful to get you started!

Vow Writing Tips from Wedding Experts

“Where do you begin?” “Do I sound too corny?” “I absolutely hate writing.” “What if my fiancé writes something way better?” If you’re thinking any of these thoughts, we are here to help!

A Positive Outlook

Before you begin writing, be sure you try to field any negative thoughts about the process and come at this with a positive outlook. Writing wedding vows can sound like a scary writing project to some, especially for those non-writers or non-emotional types, but try to begin with a smile. Once you’re thinking about how meaningful this will be to your partner, and really what this means for yourself as you make a vow to commit to aligning your future with your partner, we hope the positive thoughts can start flowing! These vows are for one of your most exciting days, so channel that joy you’re hoping to have on your special day, and begin the writing process with happy thoughts!

Where to Start?

Complete Weddings + Events’ Lisa and Eric Raftery have a great technique to help you get started on the personal vow writing process. Write one line about the past, one line about the present, one line about the future. Here’s an example using three sentences and the past, present, and future method to get you thinking.

• Past: I remember when I first met you and was so impressed by not only your gorgeous smile but by how thoughtful and kind you were.
• Present: Now we are best friends, and I still love your smile and am impressed by who you are, every single day.
• Future: As we get married today, I am so excited about this beautiful season together, to spend the rest of my life, loving you and discovering new ways that you are the most amazing man I have ever known.

When to Start Writing Vows?

Starting the vow writing process at least two months before the big day will give you enough time, but some suggest thinking about what you want to say, and why you’re making this commitment during the entire engagement period will help make the entire process easier. Finishing the vows before your final 30-day countdown hits is a great goal, especially since other last-minute wedding planning details may be distracting in the final weeks.

Know Your Audience

While you may be speaking your vows in front of many family and friends, remember that the vows are for your loved one, an audience of one! Complete’s Reed Beldin gives advice saying “When choosing what to vow, remember you are talking to her/him directly, not the 300+ people at your ceremony.”

Decide If Personal Vows Are Right for You

“In wedding ceremonies, one of the focal points are the vows that the couple make to each other in front of witnesses that form a covenant,” Kevin Paladino says. This can be a lot of pressure for some, and writing personal vows, especially speaking personal vows, is not right for everything. If you’re set on writing your own personal wedding vows, one option to relieve some pressure on the big day is to speak your personal vows in private with your partner. This could be after your first look or ideally during a private moment before the ceremony. Whether you’re speaking them at the ceremony, or in private, know that there’s no need for these to be extravagant. Keeping the vows simple maybe your best route for success.