The First Look: To Do or Not To Do?

You’ve picked the dress, booked the DJ, and decided between buttercream and fondant. Now there’s one more decision creeping up on your Pinterest board, the first look. Do you go traditional and wait until the ceremony to see your partner, or steal a quiet moment before the aisle walk?
Let’s talk about the pros, the cons, and everything in between so you can say “I do” to the plan that’s right for you.
What Is a First Look, Anyway?
A first look is a private moment before the ceremony where the couple sees each other for the first time, just the two of you (well, and your camera crew). It’s intimate, emotional, and gives you a chance to connect before the wedding whirlwind begins.
Reasons to Say ‘Yes’ to the First Look
Choosing to do a first look can shift the energy of your entire wedding day. It opens the door for more flexibility, intimacy, and intentional moments, especially when guided by experienced wedding photographers in St. Louis who know how to capture the magic without disrupting it.
More Time Together
The wedding day flies by. A first look lets you sneak in extra alone time before the festivities kick off. It’s like a breath of fresh air to ground you for the day ahead.
Picture-Perfect Timeline
Seeing each other before the ceremony means you can knock out wedding party and family photos early. Translation? More time to party after “I do.”
Real, Raw Emotions
Yes, walking down the aisle is powerful, but there’s something uniquely magical about a private moment to soak it all in without people watching. Tears? Totally expected. Goosebumps? Absolutely.
Shake Off the Nerves
Let’s be real, standing in front of a crowd is nerve-wracking. A first look can calm those jitters and help you feel connected before the crowd cues up.
Reasons to Wait for the Aisle
There’s a timeless quality to saving that first look for the ceremony. Many couples choose this option to preserve the emotional impact and build-up of that moment, knowing their wedding photographers will be ready to capture it from every meaningful angle.
The Aisle Reveal Is Iconic
There’s something timeless about seeing your partner for the first time at the end of the aisle — the music, the guests, the anticipation. It’s a moment people dream about, and it’s hard to beat that cinematic buildup.
More Relaxed Morning
Skipping the first look might mean a less rushed morning. You’ll have more time to ease into the day, get ready at your own pace, and let the anticipation build naturally.
Stick with Tradition (If That Matters to You)
If honoring cultural or personal traditions is important to you, waiting for the ceremony is a beautiful way to keep that sense of legacy alive. It’s old-school romance in the best way.
Build the Anticipation
There’s something special about the quiet moments before the ceremony, the calm before the beautiful storm. Waiting to see each other gives you space to breathe, reflect, and really soak in the meaning of the day.
Alternatives to a First Look
Not quite ready for a first look but still want a meaningful pre-ceremony moment? Here are some sweet and creative ways to connect without giving away the big reveal:
- First Touch – Share a quiet moment holding hands around a door, corner, or wall, close enough to feel the butterflies, but without actually seeing each other.
- Private Letter Exchange – Read handwritten notes from one another before the ceremony. It’s personal, emotional, and the perfect way to say “I love you” one more time before saying “I do.”
- First Look with Family – Share that emotional reveal with someone else special, like your parents, siblings, or bridesmaids. It’s a touching way to honor your support system.
- Exchange Gifts – Surprise each other with a thoughtful or fun gift. Whether it’s a keepsake, a handwritten book of memories, or something silly to make your partner laugh, it’s a sweet way to connect.
- Back-to-Back Moment or Prayer – Stand back-to-back to exchange a prayer, a laugh, or even just deep breaths together. You’ll feel grounded and connected without peeking.
How It Affects Photos
When a couple opts for a first look, many of the formal portraits, including family and wedding party photos, can be completed beforehand. On the other hand, couples who wait until the ceremony often take those photos during cocktail hour, keeping the anticipation building for everyone.
How Your Photographer Supports the First Look
Planning a first look is more than just choosing the right moment, it’s about setting the scene, capturing genuine emotion, and trusting your wedding photographer in St. Louis to bring it all together. The right photographer doesn’t just show up with a camera; they help guide the experience to ensure your day flows smoothly and beautifully.
Scouting the Perfect Location
Every couple deserves a setting that reflects their story. A seasoned wedding photographer knows the best spots for first look moments, from tucked-away gardens to scenic views near popular St. Louis venues. Lighting is key, and your photographer will choose a space with soft, flattering light to ensure your natural light photos look as magical as the moment feels.
Setting the Mood
A first look should feel personal and uninterrupted. Your professional photographer helps set that tone by coordinating timing, communicating with your planner, and creating a calm environment. That way, you’re fully present with each other while they work discreetly to get every important frame.
Capturing Real Emotion
The raw emotion of seeing each other for the first time is unforgettable. These aren’t just photos, they’re part of your wedding day storytelling. From emotional moments captured to small, unscripted gestures, your photographer is there to preserve those details in a way that feels authentic and meaningful.
Keeping the Day on Track
Once the first look wraps up, your wedding day photography moves seamlessly into bridal portraits, posed shots, and family groupings, often before the ceremony begins. This frees up more time later to enjoy the celebration without feeling rushed, all while keeping your photo timeline intact.
So… Should You Do a First Look?
Here’s the truth: there’s no wrong answer. The first look is a personal choice that should reflect you. Whether you want a private moment to ugly cry together or wait for that big aisle reveal, make the call that feels true to your love story.
And hey, if you’re still torn? Talk to your St. Louis wedding photographer.. We’ve helped thousands of couples navigate this exact decision, and spoiler alert: it always turns out beautifully.
Complete Weddings + Events – St. Louis, MO
No matter your choice for the first look, Complete Weddings + Events is here to capture every precious moment. Our expert photographers and videographers specialize in telling your love story through stunning photos and cinematic videos. Trust us to preserve your most cherished memories so you can focus on enjoying your big day. Reach out today to learn more about our photography and videography services!