The First Look: To Do or Not To Do?

You’ve picked the dress, booked the DJ, and decided between buttercream and fondant. Now there’s one more decision creeping up on your Pinterest board, the first look. Do you go traditional and wait until the ceremony to see your partner, or steal a quiet moment before the aisle walk?
Let’s talk about the pros, the cons, and everything in between so you can say “I do” to the plan that’s right for you.
What Is a First Look, Anyway?
A first look is a private moment between you and your partner before the ceremony, no guests, just the two of you (and your photo and video team capturing every emotion). It’s a chance to breathe, connect, and create bridal portraits that are intimate, genuine, and completely yours.
Many couples include the first look in their wedding photography package, allowing their photographer to build a thoughtful timeline that accommodates both candid moments and formal shots. If you’re unsure how it fits into your schedule, your photographer can walk you through the options during your planning session.
Reasons to Say ‘Yes’ to the First Look
More Time Together
The wedding day flies by. A first look lets you sneak in extra alone time before the festivities kick off. It’s like a breath of fresh air to ground you for the day ahead.
Picture-Perfect Timeline
Seeing each other before the ceremony means you can knock out wedding party and family photos early. Translation? More time to party after “I do.”
Real, Raw Emotions
Yes, walking down the aisle is powerful, but there’s something uniquely magical about a private moment to soak it all in without people watching. Tears? Totally expected. Goosebumps? Absolutely.
Shake Off the Nerves
Let’s be real, standing in front of a crowd is nerve-wracking. A first look can calm those jitters and help you feel connected before the crowd cues up.
Making It Your Own
There’s no one-size-fits-all way to do a first look. Some couples choose to include a short conversation, an exchange of gifts or letters, or even a prayer. Others prefer a simple reveal without words. It’s a flexible option that can be tailored to your personality and preferences.
Reasons to Wait for the Aisle
The Aisle Reveal Is Iconic
There’s something timeless about seeing your partner for the first time at the end of the aisle, the music, the guests, the anticipation. It’s a moment people dream about, and it’s hard to beat that cinematic buildup.
More Relaxed Morning
Skipping the first look might mean a less rushed morning. You’ll have more time to ease into the day, get ready at your own pace, and let the anticipation build naturally.
Stick with Tradition (If That Matters to You)
If honoring cultural or personal traditions is important to you, waiting for the ceremony is a beautiful way to keep that sense of legacy alive. It’s old-school romance in the best way.
Build the Anticipation
There’s something special about the quiet moments before the ceremony, the calm before the beautiful storm. Waiting to see each other gives you space to breathe, reflect, and really soak in the meaning of the day.
Alternatives to a First Look
Not quite ready for a first look but still want a meaningful pre-ceremony moment? Here are some sweet and creative ways to connect without giving away the big reveal:
- First Touch – Share a quiet moment holding hands around a door, corner, or wall, close enough to feel the butterflies, but without actually seeing each other.
- Private Letter Exchange – Read handwritten notes from one another before the ceremony. It’s personal, emotional, and the perfect way to say “I love you” one more time before saying “I do.”
- First Look with Family – Share that emotional reveal with someone else special, like your parents, siblings, or bridesmaids. It’s a touching way to honor your support system.
- Exchange Gifts – Surprise each other with a thoughtful or fun gift. Whether it’s a keepsake, a handwritten book of memories, or something silly to make your partner laugh, it’s a sweet way to connect.
- Back-to-Back Moment or Prayer – Stand back-to-back to exchange a prayer, a laugh, or even just deep breaths together. You’ll feel grounded and connected without peeking.
Talk It Through: Consult Your Wedding Photographer
Before you decide whether or not to do a first look, take time to discuss your vision with your wedding photographer in Orange County, CA. They’ve likely worked dozens, if not hundreds of weddings and can offer professional insight on what works best based on your location, timeline, and preferences.
An experienced photographer is more than someone behind the lens, they’re a creative partner who helps bring your vision to life.
Timeline Planning Based on Lighting & Venue
Your photographer can recommend the ideal time for your first look based on natural light, ceremony timing, and your venue’s layout. For example, if you’re tying the knot outdoors at sunset in Laguna Beach, they may suggest a first look to take full advantage of the golden hour.
Capturing What Matters Most to You
Not a fan of staged photos? Prefer a candid, documentary-style approach? Talking to your photographer early allows them to tailor their style and photo list to reflect your unique love story. They can also help you decide whether emotional moments like gift exchanges or parent reveals should be prioritized before the ceremony.
So… Should You Do a First Look?
Here’s the truth: there’s no wrong answer. The first look is a personal choice that should reflect you. Whether you want a private moment to ugly cry together or wait for that big aisle reveal, make the call that feels true to your love story.
And hey, if you’re still torn? Talk to your wedding photographer.. We’ve helped thousands of couples navigate this exact decision, and spoiler alert: it always turns out beautifully.
Complete Weddings + Events – Orange County, CA
No matter your choice for the first look, Complete Weddings + Events Orange County is here to capture every precious moment. Our expert photographers and videographers specialize in telling your love story through stunning photos and cinematic videos. Trust us to preserve your most cherished memories so you can focus on enjoying your big day. Reach out today to learn more about our photography and videography services!